You know, it hit me recently that I've been writing this blog for EIGHT YEARS.
I think back to the early days and realize how much more free I felt to talk about everything. Nobody knew about me then, and at times I was literally writing for an audience of one (looking at you, Jessica Nelson!). I talked openly about my projects, my setbacks, and even *gasp!* querying without a care in the world.
My blog has always been a welcome outlet. Even when most of my blog buddies gave up on writing and disappeared. Even when awkward things happened, like IRL people Googling me but pretending they hadn't. ("I found you on page 25 of a Google search about writing." Who scrolls through 25 pages of search results?!) And even now, when the 50 comments I used to get per post have dwindled to 2. If I'm lucky.
People are definitely still reading, but the major difference is I no longer know who they are. It's not the comfortable little community of tight-knit writer friends it used to be. I'm not an anonymous voice anymore. I've gained a lot more visibility since I started this blog at age 22. Now, I'm a former mentee and current mentor for the hugely popular Pitch Wars. Now, I've got teen writers looking up to me on Wattpad. Now, I have a well-known agent. That means even more exposure.
Don't get me wrong: I love that more people are finding me and my work. I love that they feel inspired and can see themselves in my experiences when they come here.
But the problem with exposure? I can't say everything I want to say anymore. I can't write down the first thing that comes to mind. I mean, I could, but there are consequences now that I don't want to risk. I hope one day I'll get to a point in my writing career where I can share more, because I really do think it helps others to know the ups and the downs and the details. But the area between becoming agented and getting published is murky for a good reason. (Some friends and I discussed agented life on the Pitch Wars mentors' blog, in case you missed it!)
All that said, I do think honesty is an important ingredient in a good blog. And I hope you will still find it here! My little space on the web is not going anywhere! ♥
Some random thoughts for you very early on a Tuesday morning :)
